The Neverending Story

Twice in the past two days have I been asked whether we will have more children, and once actually been told that we indeed will have more children, despite my negative answer. Why exactly is it that people somehow seem to believe they have a say in how many children other people have?

I have friends who have no children, either by choice or not. The reason shouldn´t matter though. It´s none of your business!!!

As a mother of 5 children I think I´ve heard just about every response there is when I told people about my pregnancies.

I was 15 when I got pregnant for the 1st time and 16 when I had my son. Granted, friends and family thought it was too soon, but most were supportive. However, a few people offered me and my mother their condolences. What? This is my baby, my mothers first grandchild and you´re telling us you´re sorry in the same way you do when a life is lost?

Second time I was pregnant, I was 18. Still happy with my first baby´s father (and still am 16 years later). We were both in school, living on our own, hubby (boyfriend at that time) working and we were doing pretty well. Very committed to each other and our children. People´s response: "Why make the same mistake twice?"- Wow, just wow!

Third time was a charm, probably the only time a pregnancy didn´t spark strange or rude comments of some sort. I was 24, still studying, hubby was studying and working, we owned a house and people who knew we wanted more children felt THIS was the right time.

Fourth pregnancy- that´s when the fun started for real. Comments and questions such as " You guys know about condoms, right? - Are you going to keep on going forever? - Trying for a soccer team?" started rolling in. A friend of mine, also with 4 children had experienced the same.

Fifth pregnancy - Go figure!

Now, that we have these 5 children, the same people keep asking about a 6th!!!

I should add, that these were not our close friends or family. All of them were very supportive, loving and wonderful.

So, why is it exactly that virtual strangers feel they´re entitled to voice their opinion on other people´s childbearing?

If you are someone who keeps telling childless couples to have a baby, parents with an only child to give their child a sibling, or someone with many children to start using contraceptives THINK BEFORE YOU TALK.